


Screaming

by Emjen_Enla



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Destruction of Vulcan, Emotions, Gen, Star Trek (2009) - Freeform, Vulcan Culture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:28:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25987414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emjen_Enla/pseuds/Emjen_Enla
Summary: Humans say that Vulcans have no emotions. They’re wrong.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Screaming

**Author's Note:**

> So the story behind this little fic is that I've been reading fanfic in this fandom for years, but had never actually seen the movie. Tonight I finally saw the movie. Kirk had always been my favorite in fanfics, but when I actually watched the movie I was shocked to find that Spock was actually my favorite character. Then this little thing happened.
> 
> To some extent this is influenced by my annoyance with the "autistic people have no empathy" myth, but the influence is tangential. (EDIT: Actually, I read this back. The influence isn't tangential at all.)
> 
> I apologize for any great fandom missteps I've made, I'm a Star Wars person, so my knowledge of Star Trek lore is extremely shaky.

Vulcans have no emotions.

If you were to ask the average human, that would be stated as pure fact. Everyone knows Vulcans have no emotion. It is one of the best-known facts about the galaxy at large. The universe is vast and ever expanding and cooling. There is no sound in space. Vulcans have no emotions. It’s academic.

That's not actually true.

Vulcans do have emotions. Of course, they do, they are alive, but they also aren’t human and the humans who had originally met them had made the grave but admittedly historically precedented error of assuming that Vulcans were like them. They were mistaken and never bothered to confront any of the ample evidence of their error. You’d think that after making the same mistake over and over again for thousands of years they’d have finally learned, but apparently not.

Vulcans view emotion as a deeply private thing. While humans are prone to spewing their messy feelings all over where anyone can see, Vulcans only express their feelings when they are alone or in the presence of close loved ones. On Vulcan seeing someone cry is more revealing than seeing them naked. Vulcans do their utmost to grant each other privacy in their emotional moments.

So, no, Spock is not emotionless when Vulcan collapses into a black hole. Neither are the 10,000 others who are rescued from the planet. Spock is also not emotionless when his mother falls to her death instants before they are transported to safety. It would be ridiculous to expect anyone to be emotionless in the face of that, but the humans expect it anyway, wrapped up in their smug superiority, in the delusional belief that they know Vulcans better than Vulcans know themselves.

Star Fleet has a mandate meant to keep officers from commanding while emotionally compromised. Spock thinks about that a lot in the aftermath of Vulcan’s destruction. He can’t help but think that if he’d been anyone else he would not be allowed to maintain command. No one could possibly expect someone to witness not only the death of a parent but the destruction of their entire world and not be emotionally compromised, but apparently, they think a Vulcan can. Spock sees the way they look at him, like he’s an animal in a zoo, like he’s something subhuman. _So, it’s true_. They’re thinking. _Vulcans really are emotionless. Look, he doesn’t even care that his planet has been destroyed_

No one suggests that he might be compromised by the events because they don’t believe he feels the emotion necessary to be compromised, and Spock doesn’t try to correct them because if he were to step down who would take command of the Enterprise? James Kirk? Commander Pike promoted that immature, insubordinate pissant to First Officer out of favoritism and Spock will be damned if he lets Kirk take control of the Enterprise. That is simply unacceptable, Spock refuses to allow it.

So, he stays on duty. He is surrounded by humans who judge him based on their standards and not his own. Perhaps if he were to shed a tear they would stop looking at him like that, like he’s some kind of robot not a person. He doesn’t want to do that, doesn’t want to grant these voyeurs a glimpse of his feelings. They have not earned such a private thing.

He stands on the bridge of the Enterprise and records a captain’s log declaring himself a member of an endangered species. He is outwardly calm; his face is like stone.

Inside he is screaming.


End file.
